The Kibbles & Bits of My Mind

Breast feeding in public has never bothered me in the slightest…but why would you pick Starbucks for your tit squirting session? Weird. Anyway, I’m sitting in Starbucks next to a woman breastfeeding (under a blanket, thankfully) and I’m finding this a perfect opportunity to do some weirding out. I thought about putting a blanket on and whispering softly to her that my tits were out too, but I think I’m just going to ask her which kind of black panther she finds scarier.

Here’s one of my favorite college stories…it happened after a typical night of binge drinking followed by Taco Bell.

Me:  “BLEH I think I got a bad chip!!! This one feels weird and tastes like shit.”

Ashley:  “…Julie, that’s your receipt.”

I discovered Google’s Les Paul guitar this morning and experienced a level of excitement comparable to a 2nd grader on a field trip…or an 8th grader on a field trip pressing his bare ass against the back window of the bus.  It didn’t take long, however, for my inner American to get bored and then want a Google drum set, trumpet, keyboard, trombone, or set of bells.  I soon felt guilty as if I just innocently wished a horde of musicians to die, but it made me think of what I would want Google to post when I die.  I thought of two…one, a set of cartoon butts that made fart noises when you scrolled over them, and two, for your webcam to turn on the exact moment a giant spider runs across the screen.  Ha, it is fun to think about.  What would you want posted?